Help for Complex Conversations with Kids: Porn, Puberty, and Sex

Help for Complex Conversations with Kids: Porn, Puberty, and Sex

It’s far too easy to go an entire day without fully stopping to listen to my daughters.

It’s easy to miss out on making eye contact for more than a few moments.

So every night for years my daughters and I have a rhythm of set-aside talk time where they  can tell me anything that is on their heart or mind. This is one-on-one time. Between 15-45 minutes per night, depending on their mood and what’s happened throughout the day.

A lot can happen in one day. A lot can happen that they have no clue how to process on their own. A lot can be shared and processed together in these few minutes.

I have watched my daughters go through *drastic* changes in their life-perspective and personality over as small a time period as a couple of days. Being present for them, everyday, even if it’s in a small way, is a top priority of mine.

Those few precious, powerful minutes at night are when I go through devotionals/books/thoughts etc. with my girls. We have to flex and adjust through each life season, but keeping one-on-one heart-and-real-life-issues discussion time is a must for us. Some of you have asked how I have approached difficult/sensitive/akward topics with my girls, so I wanted to share a couple of resources here, in case they might help you in these complex conversations as well!


 

Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty

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Description from Amazon: “Acne. Pubic hair. Breasts. Squeaky voices. Menstruation. Nocturnal emissions. Make no mistake, puberty can feel like an awkward time in a child’s life. But with the right perspective, children can be taught to anticipate puberty as a blessing. Changes is a series of 7 studies, anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents talk meaningfully with children about the mental, emotional, and physical changes puberty brings. Changes was written for parents to read with children ages 8 to 12 years old. The study supplies children with a Bible-based understanding of puberty in a language they can understand.”


 

The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality

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Description from Amazon: “When it comes to the matter of teaching kids about sex, Christian parents are often confused about what to say and when to say it. The Talk is a series of 7 studies, all anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents to talk meaningfully with children about sexuality. The Talk was written for parents to read with children ages 6 to 10 years old. The study supplies elementary-age children with foundational truths about sexuality at a level they can understand.”


 

My oldest daughter and I have had multiple discussions about porn, because she’s known about it since she was around 6 years old due to some of her friends being exposed and sharing about their experiences. Unfortunately, we personally know a little 10 year old girl who is currently addicted to porn she got hooked on through her tablet and phone. So, though this topic has been broached before, I am going to read through this following book with my oldest, and then possibly my 6 year old.

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids

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Description from Amazon:” Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a comfortable, read-aloud story about a mom and dad who teach their child what pornography is, why it’s dangerous, and how to reject it. Using easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this ground-breaking book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains.
It only takes a few taps on a mobile device for a curious young child to find an endless supply of deviant, hard-core, and addicting pornography–all for free. Unfortunately, many young kids are being exposed to pornography without the slightest clue that it can damage their developing minds.
The 5-point CAN DO Plan teaches kids how to avoid the brain-warping images of pornography and minimize the troubling memories of accidental exposure that often tempt kids to look for more and lead them into a dark and destructive addiction. To stay safe in the digital age, kids must install an internal filter in their own brain. Good Pictures Bad Pictures shows them how.
Parents will appreciate this resource to porn-proof their kids because it makes a difficult discussion easy and empowering. How? By teaching kids simple concepts about the brain and the process of addiction, and by giving them a specific strategy for keeping safe from the poison of pornography.”


 

I heard about Good Pictures Bad Pictures through Jackie Watkin’s wonderful podcast, Mud Stories. Jackie interviewed the author, Kristen A. Jenson M.A. I highly recommend all of Jackie’s podcasts, but wanted to highlight this one in particular for you today. Jackie and Kristen if you read this — I am so grateful for all you both do! 

I hope these resources help! If you have other topics you’re wondering how I address with my girls, I’m happy to share what I know/what I’ve done/what I plan to do, though it may not be much!

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